I got the recipe and was very excited! I ran to target to get all the ingredients I needed, but it was not the 'quick stop' I was hoping for. Having never cooked any type of bread before, I had no idea what shortening looked like and had no idea where to find it. The same went for yeast, cinnamon, and a few other ingredients I had never bought before. After an hour in the baking aisle looking for these things I decided, I need some help. I asked the first employee I found, and my mistake, I asked a guy. He was just as clueless as I was! He gave me a confused look when I asked where the shortening was, but eager to help, he led me down the baking isle, which I had already been in for quite some time, looking at every ingredient just like I had already done. Confused, he asked his friend employee near by, also a boy, where the shortening was. He looked just as confused and it was like dumb, dumb, and dumber trying to find the shortening and yeast! None of us even knew what it looked like! After about 15 minutes, we found crisco, I didn't even know this was shortening. The boy pulled it out confused and said, "Do you think this is it?" I laughed and said no idea, but I will put it in my cart and get it!
After that adventure, I headed home to start making my cinnamon rolls. One thing I have learned getting recipes from all of the moms, grandmas, and aunts, is they are already pros so they take steps out of the recipe they don't need because they already know how to do it. I am very good at following directions, and not so good at inferring exactly what I should do next. My cinnamon roll recipe said to boil 2 cups of water then add the shortening and 2 eggs. I did exactly what it said. As I was grabbing the shortening to put in the boiling water after the eggs, I realized the eggs cooked! Having never made this before I assumed, hmmm this must just be how it goes and continued to whisk the heck out of the already cooked eggs to make a nasty egg mixture. I took a picture to send to my Aunt and ask if that was right. She told be an obvious no, and that I needed to start over.
Off to a bad start, I started over. I accomplished the first part of the recipe correctly then
proceeded to the next step. The yeast. The recipe said, add yeast to warm water and leave until it is foamy on top. So, I did exactly that. I emptied the yeast, added it to the water and left it. I kept coming back over and over again to see the yeast wasn't really foamy at all! I waited almost 45 minutes and it was barely foamy. I tried calling my mom to ask if this was right, but she didn't answer so I assumed that yeast only got a little bit foamy and proceeded to the next step, adding it to the dough. (later I learned you have to whisk yeast. Who knew? The recipe sure did not say that.)
As I made the dough I was feeling very accomplished. It looked like bread dough! The next step in the recipe was to let the dough double in size. I covered the dough just like I had seen my mom do and left to go run some errands. When I came back the dough had not risen a bit! Not even a little and this was about an hour and a half later. I asked my Aunt how long it usually takes and she said just about 45 minutes. Confused, I remembered that when my mom wants things to rise, she puts them by the fire. So in the middle of June, I turned on the fire and turned our heat up in hopes that the dough would rise. About an hour later Roger came home from work. The first things out of his mouth were, "Holy crap!! It is so hot in here!!!" Frustrated I screamed back, "I know!! I am trying to get the stupid bread to rise!" I said this as I was sweating as well! It was probably 90 degrees in our little apartment!
The bread still didn't rise much so I decided to roll it out anyways and put the cinnamon inside. They started to look like real little cinnamon rolls and I was so excited! My Aunt told me to put the rolls in the oven at 170 degrees with the oven door open with a towel over the top for 45 minutes and then they would rise. So I did exactly as directed. Roger kept worrying that the towels were going to start on fire and burn our whole house down. I started to believe him! As our little apartment got hotter from the oven Roger insisted that I get out the cinnamon rolls, before I burned the house down. So I grabbed my oven mitts to pull out my brand new pan I was so excited to use from the oven. As I was pulling out the pan, the pan slipped and I dropped the pan from about counter height. CRASH went by brand new pan and hard worked cinnamon rolls. I shattered my pan into literally, a BILLION pieces!
As the tears started to fall, Roger thought the glass had fallen on my foot! Luckily I didn't get cut, but I was just so frustrated that after 6 hours, I still couldn't make the cinnamon rolls! I then vacuumed for about 30 minutes to pick up all the shards of glass. After we cleaned up, Roger lightened my spirits by reminding me that I still had another pan I had left to rise. Though they hadn't risen much, I cooked them anyways. As you can guess, they came out flat like pancakes. It is also about 12:30 am by this time. We both chomped down the extremely DENSE and moist cinnamon rolls! They were not good, but, the frosting was good, and if there is one life lesson I learned from the cinnamon rolls, it is that the majority of the roll may not turn out like you want it to, but put a smile on your face, and eat the frosting instead!
What I learned from this was bread is hard, and recipes need a mother's guidance! I hope this story gave you a little laugh and next time you make cinnamon rolls, remember, whisk the yeast and DON'T POACH THE EGGS :)
~Love, the Newlywed
xoxo
